“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 
― Marilyn Monroe

I had no idea what to write my next blog about, so I decided to type “good quotes” into Google, pick a link, and write it on the first quote that my eyes saw.  Lo and behold, it fell upon this one.  Oh how insanely true and pertinent this is to my life.

I have learned something since I moved into my own apartment and started living alone; I greatly enjoy being single.  For the most part.  It’s nights like last night when it’s storming outside that I do wish I had someone.  One of my favorite things in the world is to snuggle with someone and watch TV or a movie while it’s raining or storming outside.  It’s insanely hard to go to work on stormy days because of this.  But whenever you can’t have pets at your apartment and you’re single; the closest to cuddling you can get is your body pillow.

I’m semi looking for a man.  And by semi I mean not looking at all.  I’m so sick of the fair-weather BS, I could vomit.  You know what I get the most of?  “I love it because you tell it like it is” “You’re one of the coolest girls I’ve ever met” blah blah blah.  You’re probably thinking Oh what terrible compliments those must be to swallow.  They weren’t when I first started hearing them.  But then something happens and all of a sudden I’m “really cool” but they’re just “not into a relationship”.  Give me a BREAK.  I’m just looking for somebody to hang out & have fun with; I’m not asking for a one-carat-princess-cut-diamond-on-a-white-gold-band!!!  Jeez!  It’s almost like once they realize that they’re having a good time with me, they metaphorically (or possibly literally) poop in their pants and run screaming for the hills.  At least this is what I’d like to believe, as well as what I visualize.

Peezy isn’t “really cool” 24/7.  I’d say that I’m “really cool” 22/7 (I can hear my exes laughing right now).  Sometimes I get a little pissy.  Sometimes I cry (don’t tell anybody).  Sometimes I bitch because there’s piss on the rim of the toilet (for cryin out loud use ONE SQUARE of toilet paper and wipe it off).  Sometimes I have a day where nothing went right and the last thing I want to hear is you be the devil’s advocate for every. Thing. I. Say.  (I know “everything” is one word but I needed a more dramatic emphasis on it).  Sometimes when I’m pissed off I throw stuff (not as much anymore now that I’m the one paying to replace it) and I usually yell too…sometimes inaudibly and as loud as I can.

So there --- those are several of my “worst” qualities in a row.  Maybe I should make a little pamphlet for anybody who’s thinking about dating me and the title will be the Marilyn Monroe quote above.  Because let’s be honest here --- I’m pretty hard to handle if you can’t tell from just a few Facebook statuses.  It’s gonna take a real man to call me out on my crap and also be there to support me emotionally. 

I guess the last line on the pamphlet should be “Do you think you can handle Peezy, punk?  Well do ya?”  :::read in Clint Eastwood voice:::